tuk owg yg sakitkan aty aq. . . .

THREE TIMES I CRY BECAUSE OF MY LOVED ONE

By: Marlin

Everything started so fast. All this began when my cell phones was damaged because I throw away the cell phone to the wall because I was angry with the person who always disturbed me late at night. After that incident, I cannot switch on my cell phone. I told my father about that and he sends my cell phones to the shop for repair. After a few days, the cell phone had been repaired and my father said that the cell phone has been formatted and the information in that cell phone was lost.

A few weeks later, when I was hanging out with my friends, Aleen, to meet her friend, Fatin, at Parit 13, some guy called my number and he said,” hello Lin, I want to ask you something. Are you Marlin? “. Then I felt confused, did I know him? I asked myself. Yes, this number is so familiar for me, but I forgot who the owner is. I said to him,” excuse me, err… yes, I am Marlin. Why? Do you know me? I am sorry, I cannot remember who you are because my cell phone has been damaged and all the contact numbers are missing. Can I know who are you? ”. Then he said, “Marlin, I am Amir, you classmate when you was in standard 6? I am prefect in our school. How could you forget about me? Hmm... Never mind, you are busy with your study. Am I right? It is okay, I did not want to disturb you. If I am free, I will call you back, okay? ”. Then, he drops the call.

Three days later, he called me again. He asked about my condition here and he also asked many things about me. For example, I always hang out with whom? , what I like to do and where I like to go if I hang out with my friends? Firstly, I felt uncomfortable about his questions because he just my friend and not so close with me. But, he become more weird because he want to know my activities everyday and starting from that, we shared many story such as his life, his family, his friend, and what he likes. He started being brave to call me late at night and make me wonder, what he truly wants from me actually.

After 5 days we know each other, I just remembered who he truly is. He is my friend when I was in standard 6. He was reserved and shy persons because he just said what he wants and he just did his work and he just talked to me for important things. But now, he was different. I cannot believe that he had changed so much. He is change may be because he is studying at Shah Alam, far from his family or about the culture that brings from the teenagers there. I just ignored all the questions that were playing inside my mind.

One day, he was calling my cell phone number. He was quiet for long time before he said to me that he loves me and he wanted me to be his special girl friend. I was shocked and I cannot say anything that time. Then, both of us were silent. I switch off the cell phone. I was thinking for a while and I realized that our relationship has gone so far. I cannot accept all this because it is so fast for me. He tried to call me, but I did not answer until I asked myself, “Marlin, this what you want before this, right? What u still waiting for? Just take the chances”. Yes, that right! But, I do not want to be treated to Fared because I love him so much.

But, when I think from the other side, if I told Fared, maybe he will leave me. So, I do not tell him and I keep this secret until I told him the truly story. I make myself to be strong and then, I called Amir and I said to him that I accept him to be my boy friend but he seems he does not like my answer. I do not know what the problem is and I do not want to know why. Starting from that, I learn to love him and try to be best for him even I was have Fared in my life. Are me so greedy? Hum, I do not why I become like that. I sink in my own world and at the beginning of our love, I felt so happy but I know, at the end, I cannot forget what was he had done to me until he broke my heart into pieces. That is may be what I should get because I not being honest with Fared.

Next five days, I had miss-understanding with my mother. She placed all my eldest sister faults on me and make me so stress that day. At the same time, I fought with Amir because he said I am a liar and I just want to make fun with his feeling. That time, I did not understand what he meant. In that time, I also need to go to tuition. I do not know how to control my feeling. But, I need to go to tuition because I do not want to escape any class that I had paid. When I was there, still no bodies are come. I went to the back and at there I do not know why started cry until my friend, Alia came and she tried to make my feeling be clam and happy. After felt comfortable, I stopped crying and followed her go inside the class tuition.

That night, he tried to persuade me, make me laugh and finally, we become like before. He felt sorry and guilty because asked me ridiculous question. I said to him that this Wednesday, my friends and I going to Kuala Clangorous. He said that he wanted to meet me but he did not have any transport. I said to him, “It is okay. I do not want to meet you. I just want to hang around with my friends and enjoy with them”. Then, he said, “Okay, for you, I am not important as your friends, right? So, why you accept me? ”. I did not want to answer his question and I just dropped the cell phone.

That Wednesday, I enjoyed with my friends and I am happy when hanging out with them. Lastly, Amir met me and brought me to ‘Stadium Kuala Clangorous‘. At that time, the placed was so quiet because no people at there. I was scared if anything bad happens and I try to be cool. Suddenly, my cell phone was vibrated and when I take out the cell phone from my pocket, I saw at the screen and I read, ‘One massage’. I know Alia was informed me that we will be late I not arrived there at time. Then, he begged me to kiss him. I said to him that we should go now but he still begged me until I want to do those things. Herr... So, I just do what he wants and finally he sends me to my friends.

A few weeks later, I found out that he has another girl, just like me, have another boy. I do not know why I being so jealousy and I just want to hear from his mouth, the truth. Firstly, he said that girl just his ‘sister’ but I do not want to trust what he said. Then, I push him to tell the truth and finally he said to me “Yes, she is my girlfriend, my wife, my heart, my soul, and for me, you just like her, but, I want both of you be mine!” Suddenly, I do not know I cry. My feelings become uncontrolled and I started throw any things in my bedroom. I did not know what I should do. I should be angry to him or ignored what was he done and continue our relationship? Why so greedy? Why he did this to me. Why he fooling me around, if he love me? Those questions are around my mind. May by, that what should I get because I was cheated Fared.

From that day, he 100% has been changed. I do not know, it is my fault or his fault. If this condition continued, I cannot be stronger anymore. Lastly, he broke up with me. That time, I was crying loudly until no tears come out from my eyes. I am so tired with this entire situation. I realize that I am being foolish around this guy. From that incident, I cannot trust guy anymore because I am scared if this situation happen again to me. And truly, I found out from his girlfriends, he just wants to play with my feeling and I felt so stupid because I trusted him. I promised to myself not to cry again. Enough three times I cried because of my loved one and continue my life with the person who truly loved me, Fared, because he just the best one for me in my life.